My Earliest memory of a football match on TV is the 1976 FA Cup Final in which Second Division Southampton and a Bobby Stokes goal beat Hot Favourites Manchester United one nil. I remember watching the game with my father and him being pleased with the outcome because Southampton were the underdogs. One thing I don’t remember is my reaction to the commentary. In fact I can’t even remember who was commentating or what channel we watched it on as in those days both the BBC and ITV would show the game live. I would hazard a guess that we watched it on the BBC as my dad always tended to do so out of his mixed up snobbery.

Two years later and England are playing Brazil in a friendly before the 1978 world cup finals in Argentina. England have failed to qualify for the second time on the trot but there is still a full house at Wembley to see if England can continue their recent good form. Brazil Score early but late in the second half after a lot of pressure England equalise through Kevin Keegan. It remains one all at the final whistle. For the next few days and maybe even weeks I would recreate Keegan’s goal in the backyard while shouting out David Coleman’s commentary which was very simple, “Keegan, one one“. Simple obvious & effective, just like my writing style. This is my first memory of football commentary making an impression upon me albeit at an early age.

Fast foreword to the present day and I am constantly told by the commentators that the game I am watching is great. They hype to such a degree that when something of merit does happen you have long since turned off. They scream down the microphone at the slightest bit of foreword movement on the pitch. If you don’t believe me then try going into another room where you can only hear the commentator . Every time you hear the commentator getting excited as if a goal is going to be scored then come back into the room and I bet you that bugger all has happened and doesn’t even look like happening. Talk about patronising to your audience. The worst culprit in my view is Clive Tyldesley who not only hypes but seems incapable of failing to show his obvious support for Manchester United even when they are not one of the teams he is commentating on. He is obviously a Manchester United fan so therefore the question has to be asked why does he commentate on Manchester United games as there has to be the question of impartial commentating? Bizarrely as they started all this bloody hype Sky Sports have the best commentator in Martin Tyler. John Motson has got worse as he has got older but what is really sad is that Barry Davies the BBC’s best commentator was forced out by people who think they know better because in their eyes we the public would rather hear John Motson screaming down the microphone about to lose his voice rather than the more intelligent observations of Davies. Funny that, I don’t remember anybody from the BBC asking the football audience at large what they thought?

I used to get fed up with Brian Moore when he was commentating because I perceived him to be bias towards southern teams. He would sound gutted when a northern team would score and elated when a southern one would. I found him to be vague on his facts when commentating, often turning to his co-commentator to ask advice. I also had trouble understanding his behaviour during the ID Card debate. You may remember that the Thatcher Government was determined despite very strong opposition (not least amongst the fans) to introduce compulsory ID cards for all football fans wishing to attend a football match. This was a reaction to the growing trouble of violence at football matches as well as the dreadful disaster’s at Bradford & Heysel in 1985. This would have killed football as we knew it as non regular supporters who would have turned up for big games would have been unable to gain entry. A lot of fans out of Clubs as well as the vast amount of supporters were against the idea. During a live league game at Villa Park supporters in their thousands raised red cards to show their disapproval of the idea but Brian Moore said in his commentary that the supporters were wrong and that it would be good for football to have the system. To add insult to injury the TV cameras hardly showed the protest. A really arrogant point of view from someone who sat in the stands and had no idea about terrace culture. Not long afterwards the plan was dropped in the wake of the Hillsborough disaster when the inquiry deemed that an ID system would be bad for safety. Can’t remember what Brian said when the system was dropped???

The main point though is that he was a better commentator then the present lot and that really is saying something.

It is now 2009 and I hardly watch football on telly anymore . Sure, I attend matches just as regularly as I have always done but when it comes to TV watching it is a big no no. Over exposure is one reason. The TV companies are not only obsessed with showing any game any time any where but are also completely obsessed with the so called big four. ITV are the worst culprits who always give Manchester United

top billing regardless of the importance of the game in their champions league coverage. The BBC are not much better. Again and again they will jump at the chance to show Manchester United live. A prime example would be their live coverage of Manchester United versus Burton Albion in an FA Cup third round replay a few years ago. Did they sincerely see this as a competitive game? Unsurprisingly Manchester won four nil with an under strength side. We all know why they show theses games. It is to garner the massive part time support of Manchester and Liverpool who hardly ever go to games let alone watch their local teams. So we are in a position where part time supporters are unintentionally dictating what games are shown on TV. We all know these part timers, they feel that Manchester United and Liverpool’s success reflects on them thereby making them one of life’s winners. They will wear their teams colours (usually with Ronaldo or Gerrard on the back) to reflect this. Funny that a lot of these people are insecure and sad, can’t see the connection myself? Probably the same people who watch X factor etc…

Douglas martin

April 2^nd 2009